


You Must Be an Angel, 'Cause I'm in Heaven

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [93]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Blue Screens of Death, Cas is jealous, Crack, Dean has no mouth filter, Gabriel thinks he's the narrator of a nature documentary, He is basically just an overgrown kitten, Lucifer wants cuddles, M/M, Naked Lucifer, naked cuddles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-25
Updated: 2014-09-25
Packaged: 2018-02-18 16:48:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2355524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, Lucifer forgets to wear clothes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Must Be an Angel, 'Cause I'm in Heaven

If Dean had been drinking when Lucifer walked into the room, he’d have choked and drowned and found himself back in Hell. As it is, he can barely breathe, because, _shit,_ Lucifer is _ripped_ and fucking _hung_ and – “Do you put that thing in my baby brother?”

 

Everyone turns to look at him and he coughs. “Uh. Um...” He looks around helplessly and gives a nervous little laugh. “I didn’t say that.”

 

Then Lucifer climbs into his lap and Dean’s heart decides that it would rather live in someone else’s ribcage from now on. “Cuddles,” Lucifer demands, head butting Dean’s shoulder a little harder than strictly necessary. “And stop poking me.”

 

Dean chokes, because _nope, this is not happening, this is just a dream and I’m not getting a boner from the sight of my brother’s naked boyfriend_. He reaches up and begins to pet behind Lucifer’s ears in the hopes of distracting his lower half from the fact that he has a very beautiful, very naked angel in his lap.

 

Lucifer’s entire body starts to purr, and Dean loses what’s left of his sanity. “You must be an angel, ‘cause I’m in Heaven.” It’s cringe-worthy and horrible and cheesy and everything Dean should have grown out ten years ago, but he really can’t help it. Lucifer is naked _,_ on his lap, _purring,_ and Dean’s brain is filled with Blue Screens of Imminent Dick Take-Over.

 

“And here we have human male number one responding to external stimuli by regressing to a primitive, ape-like state,” Gabriel chuckles.

 

“Dean,” Castiel chastises. “Luce, get off of him. He’s supposed to love me best,” he whines.

 

“He’s still petting me,” Lucifer counters.

 

“Pleeeeease,” Castiel begs.

 

“Fine,” Lucifer relents before climbing off of Dean and into Adam’s lap. “Pet me, Adam Bear. Peeet me.”

 

“Here we go again,” Sam groans. 


End file.
